TOP FIVE DEMANDS ISSUED BY DISGRUNTLED DOGS
* Hourly belly rubs.
* Replace that stupid Garfield calendar with Marmaduke calendar.
* Save the baby talk (“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?”) for the baby. It’s about dignity, damn it.
* Free reign to scoot around on our butts on the carpet without reprimand (or laughter).
* No clothes on us. Ever. EVER!