Why didn’t someone tell me it was August already? I’ve been so obsessed with my new toaster (shiny!), I hadn’t noticed that another summer is speeding by like a buttered seal on a Slip-and-Slide.
I haven’t even made my annual SUMMER TO-DO LIST (which was task No. 3 on my SPRING TO-DO LIST).
OK. No more dilly-dallying. Here are the things I intend to do before summer fades to fall:
* Call the iceman and ask him when he plans to cometh.
* Chase my wife around with the hose. Later, we’ll go outside.
* Go see a summer blockbuster at the cineplex. I’m pretty sure the crowds have thinned out enough so we can get in to see “The Love Guru.”
* Eat 30 of the 31 flavors at Baskin-Robbins. (Yes, I’m still holding a grudge, Cherries Jubilee.)
* Paint old Mrs. McGurkle’s fence.
* Paint old Mrs. McGurkle.
* Push a buttered seal across a Slip-and-Slide.
* Make my FALL TO-DO LIST.
* Sit on the deck and drink beers with Cooter and Horsey Joe.
* Get treated for heat stroke after realizing I don’t know anyone named Cooter and Horsey Joe.
Well, I think there’s enough time to do all those things. I’ll get started tomorrow.
Today is all about toast.