More pooch poetry at Captain Scratchy

August 12, 2009

Check out Captain Scratchy for “Poetry Slam 2: Eclectic Boogaloo!” Click HERE to see it.

And here’s a one-panel preview:

© 2009 Chuck Ingwersen

© 2009 Chuck Ingwersen

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Bad Poetry Corner: “Run Away From That Horrible Monkey”

January 6, 2009

Run away from that horrible monkey.
Hide in a trunk; swallow the trunk key.

Have neighbors drive you to the Mexican border.
Bring some Tums to stop digestive disorder.

Ride a donkey to the zoo in Tijuana.
See the great ape show — you know that you wanna.

Just don’t make friends with another dumb monkey
by buying him rum and behaving so drunkly. 

 

© 2008 Chuck Ingwersen

For more Bad Poetry, click on the link in the right-hand sidebar. 



Bad Poetry Corner: “Why Do You Chase Me With Salad Tongs?”

December 8, 2008

Why do you chase me with salad tongs?
‘Cuz I banged your muffins and buttered your gongs?

What have I done to make you so cranky?
Sneezed on your dog and walked your hanky?

Why do you treat me as if I’m a felon?
‘Cuz I sliced your china and polished your melon? 

Show me the way back into your good graces.
Just stop whipping me with Grandma’s shoelaces.

 

© 2008 Chuck Ingwersen
(For more Bad Poetry, click on the link in Categories on right-hand sidebar.)


Bad Poetry Corner: “You’re Still In Pajamas?”

December 8, 2008

It’s noon and you’re still in pajamas?
What the heck will I tell all the llamas?
You set a sorry example
when you continue to trample
rules for sleepwear made in the Bahamas.

You’re wearing a coat made of poodles?
Slapping gophers with undercooked noodles?
I’d call the police,
but the Chief is your niece
and her cats are named Kit and Kaboodles.


Bad Poetry Corner: “Ode to The Angry Horse”

September 8, 2008

Angry Horse, oh Angry Horse.
Your face is fierce, your coat is coarse.
Your teeth are huge — such pearly whoppers.
You frighten cows when you bare those choppers.

Your tail can whack paint off a shed.
You hooves can dent the hardest head.
Your nostrils flare to give us warning
to bring you waffles in the morning.

You scare young children when you whinny.
You make Superman feel like a ninny.
Truckers blush when they hear you cuss.
Cowboys choose to take the bus.

Why so angry, why so cranky?
Why so keen on spanky-spanky?
We long to know what makes you tick.
Perhaps you’re just a giant #$@&.


Bad Poetry Corner: “The Potato Dance”

July 25, 2008

Hot potato in your pants.
That would make a lively dance.

Get that tater while it’s hot.
Call it “baby” (tater tot).

Piece of potato in my eye.
Give it to the French to fry.

Mash that potato ’til it’s fluffy.
Put it in your pants to make them puffy.

Do your little dance then add some gravy.
Sing potato songs and join the Navy.


Bad poetry corner: “I Like Pie”

July 18, 2008

Meringue, mango, mincemeat —
I sure do like pie.
Apple, apricot, antelope —
Don’t ask me why.

I won’t beg
and I won’t grovel.
Put it on a plate,
put it on a shovel. 

Pie in the morning,
pie in the afternoon.
Pie in the evening,
pie on the third of June.

I love to bake a pie
just the way my grandma did —
snookered on a jug of gin,
and bare-butt naked.