Awkward Office Moment No. 117

Stinging humor

You can’t spell assertiveness without …

© 2008 Chuck Ingwersen

Pants! Always funny.

 

© Chuck Ingwersen, 2008

From the cartoonist’s handbook: When in doubt, make the punchline refer to pants.

Water cooler talk

 

© Chuck Ingwersen, 2008

 

Water coolers. Do workplaces even have them anymore? They seem like relics from a simpler, more watery-cooler time. 

Just imagine … co-workers gathering around a water cooler to communicate with each other, face to face. How primitive! But it’s true. In the days before e-mail and instant messaging and text messaging and bottled water readily available for just a few dollars, the water cooler was the hub of the office. It was where the previous night’s TV shows were discussed, where gossip was exchanged and where water was occasionally consumed.

Sample Water Cooler Conversation, Circa 1968:

Ned from accounting: Did you see Batman last night? Adam West sure brings a conflicted, introspective quality to the role of the Caped Crusader. And Cesar Romero’s portrayal of the Joker is chilling — pure genius. He certainly won’t be forgotten come awards season.

Stew from accounting: You bet your sweet bippy.

Ned: Speaking of sweet bippies, I hear that groovy Mindy chick from personnel is a real tiger in the holding-hands department.

Stew: Sock it to me.

Ned: I think someone spiked the water cooler with hallucinogenic drugs again.

Stew: There’s a five-headed walrus on your shoulder.

Ned: Well, time to get back to work.

Ted Jenkins, the affable zombie

 

© Chuck Ingwersen, 2008

I’ve been drawing a lot of zombie cartoons lately. Zombies are just so darn dependable, what with their relentless quest for brains. Creatures who are so preternaturally single-minded are ripe for parody. “Shaun of the Dead” did a masterful job of sending up the zombie genre. 

Long live the undead, I say!

Job interview

 

© Chuck Ingwersen, 2008

Good boss, bad boss

 

© Chuck Ingwersen, 2008

The enlightened boss can sense when something is eating at an employee, and he will be supportive and empathetic. 

The unenlightened boss misses obvious signals that something’s wrong, such as the expense report that Jenkins from accounting has stapled to your forehead.

 

The enlightened boss engages his employees in cordial banter. “How ’bout that game last night?”

The unenlightened boss has less refined social skills. “Whoa! Looks like that zit on your chin is ready to blow!”

 

The enlightened boss encourages camaraderie by scheduling Casual Fridays.

The unenlightened boss amuses himself by scheduling Topless Tuesdays.

 

The enlightened boss makes a point of acknowledging your contributions to the company. “I don’t know where we’d be without you.”

The unenlightened boss acknowledges your contributions as well. “I don’t know how I’d get my lunch delivered to my desk without you.”